so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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