i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
