I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
