The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize