i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
They are going to name an STD after you.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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