with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
