Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
