he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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