I just saw a hot homeless man
You can't motorboat a personality
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
