i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
