Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
