Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
