Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
God, I missed his penis.
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