You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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