It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
