What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
