i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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