She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
