just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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