this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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