hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
