Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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