Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
