i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
