he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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