Im at strip club and am horny
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
