you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
