According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
