The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
