scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
