I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
