also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
