I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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