i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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