What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
