I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
