i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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