so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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