I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
