Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I need a beard to bite.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
