Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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