He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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