Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
