who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
