remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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