have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
