is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
