How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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