smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
