You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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