check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize