And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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