What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
