yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
