well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
