We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
