I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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