I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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