I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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